This is not my ceiling
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
