i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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