chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
