They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
