I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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