After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
