Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We need a shit load of segways right now
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
