Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
My vagina just clenched in fear
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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