So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
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I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
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I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?