EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.