Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night