do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby