can we get nightvision for the apartment?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
