The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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