Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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