Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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