Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize