just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
