And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
