so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
