My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
