walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
