I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
