sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
