I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
