she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
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