SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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