You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
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Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
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The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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