Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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