She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Randomize
