Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
