My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
