Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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