no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
