wrigley field is MILF paradise
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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