We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
