I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I love having hate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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