Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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