did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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