Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize