i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
