I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
