Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
