There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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