The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
