I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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