Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
