Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
