Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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