We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Its about making memories worth repressing
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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