i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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