I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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