No awkward lesbian experiences without me
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Send help, water and tortillas.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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