hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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