Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
