you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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