i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
