you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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