Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i wish my penis had a tongue
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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