Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
